Summer of 2012...D.C., Freddie, Latter Days, and PRIDE

A drunk Sergio at the Balcony of Congressman Braley's Office during the 4th of July Celebrations. While I was out in D.C. working in the Senate, old friends from the House gave me some love in inviting me to Braley's office and chilling!

It was the summer of 2012...I was a rising senior at college. I secured an internship to go out to Washington D.C. to work in Iowa's Senator Tom Harkin's personal office. I was mentored by the amazing Alicia Lynch who was my Area Coordinator at the time (shout out to all higher ed professionals...because of you I found a career I love). She had advised me to go out to D.C., work in the Harkin office, and enjoy the summer out there prior to my senior year...especially as we were in a presidential election year. 

I, through her guidance, found myself in Washingston D.C. by late May 2012. I was living in an apartment at the Catholic University of America. I had my first suit ready to be worn on my first day. I was excited, ready to put in my hours to make everyone back home proud. It was an experience that brought me so much happiness, but also an experience that as I look back really stirred thoughts of depression, lonliness, and anxiety.

Everyday I worked in the Hart Senate Building, I would leave and be home by 6pm or so. That left a bit of time for me to fill each night. The weekends were basically free time for me to explore the city and get into shenanigans (which for those who know me know I am no stranger at doing ridiculous things). The most surpsising thing during my time out there was how much time I found myself listening to music and watching Netflix in the evenings. 

Fast forward to one of the days in the Harkin office and there was a session we were asked as interns to go to and it involved HIV/AIDS advocacy and awareness. I attended and remember leaving curious as to how big of a threat HIV/AIDS was. I found myself in the evening reading up on it and saw a list of famous individuals who had succombed to the virus. One of those listed was Freddie Mercury. I had zero idea who Freddie Mercury was, I was intrigued by the name and that sparked another rabbit hole of reading on the internet. I would learn he was the lead singer of Queen. Again, I had no idea who Queen was (don't come for me world, I grew up in a Mexican home, where the norm was Los Rieleros, Juan Gabriel, etc.). I would read that they were the makers of big hits like "We Will Rock You" "We Are the Champions" "Another One Bites the Dust". I quickly knew the songs and finally put two and two together that I did indeed know Queen and Freddie's music, but had no idea the story behind it all. I would spend that night and the rest of my summer there listening to Queen, watching thier concerts on YouTube. I would become obsessed (as I do with many of the things I love), and would read books, watch documentaries, watch interviews, etc. I would stumble across interview videos with Freddie Mercury and in it he could be so outrageous. His charisma was undeniable as was his comfort in being feminine. While he never came out, I think many would say he didn't have to as he was always out. In an interview he once responded to a question about his sexuality by saying, "I'm as gay as a daffodil, my dear?" 

You gotta remember that in the Summer of 2012 I was very much still a closet case. I had never told anyone anything and the loneliness I felt at nights stemmed at not being open about my sexuality. It felt real to me, as I was about to start my senior year at college with this big secret inside. Seeing Freddie Mercury own himself was super refreshing to me. I mean for goodness sake, Freddie and the rest of Queen dressed in drag in thier music video for "I want to Break Free"...everything about the lyrical content and video content was hella queer and closeted me at the time was living for it! 

Learning about Freddie also taught me about the HIV/AIDS crisis and the failed response to it by the U.S. government. At this point I realized that if I were to be gay, I would need to learn gay history and be ready to advocate for more than rights, but respect and visibility. I was getting closer to owning who I was as I became familiar with who Freddie was. 

In those long summer nights in D.C. I would also find myself watching my first gay film. Latter Days (2004). A film about a young Mormon missionary who would confront his sexual identity and come out. In the film, he was rejected by his father and mother and excommunicated from the church. The beautiful piece of this all was that he would be welcomed into a new family of individuals who housed him, provided him food, gave him work, and loved him relentlessly not by ignoring the fact that he was gay, but by embracing him completely. While I didn't know it then, this is what choosing a "Queer Family" was all about. I knew that if I were to come out, I needed to have people who loved me unconditionally. In 2012 as I look back I was well on my way in building that family. 

Being in D.C. was also my first Pride. A few of my peers and I decided to go to the Fox and Hound bar and we sat and watched the Pride parade as we enjoyed drinks. My friends didn't know then, but I was dying inside hoping to get closer to the parade, hoping to be as fearless as those who were in the floats, hoping to be as free as those whom we were watching. I have no doubt that if I were to have come out at that very moment that those around me would have accepted me, but it was that nagging fear of rejection and isolation that terrified me. It would take another year before I mustered the courage to do so. 

The Summer of 2012 was a wild time for me. I would meet amazing people. I would become desperately close to voicing what I knew was so very true about me. I would leave that Summer more sensitive and more connected to the LGBTQIA+ community and had it not been for that summer and the time I spent exploring queer artists and films, I might have come out much later than I would. 

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Freddie Mercury did whatever the hell he wanted. He was majestic AF. Look at that damn crown...I need one...:)

Queen's "I Want to Break Free"

Latter Days Trailer