Luis- Trailblazer of Love!

I write this post with sensitivity in knowing Luis isn't here in this world anymore. This post is more of a letter to him...giving voice to thoughts I should have shared with him when he was with us in this world. Nonetheless, a note of thanks...

Luis!

You always cross JQ's and my mind anytime we find ourselves in Boystown in Chicago...literally everytime. We can be closing out Roscoes or crossing the street from Progress towards Fantasy and you know for a fact that either Jose or I are going to say your name as we pass by where you used to work. You might be surprised or not surprised to know that. I think I speak for both us, knowing you made us better. 

Having met you at 7th grade I quickly got close to you and Ingrid. We always seemed to have our things together for class and I do like to think we genuinely enjoyed being in class together. Of course you and Ingrid were moved to another class at one point because ya'll were the smart ones! :) You probably didn't know that you were the first person I knew who was queer. I remember you first came out to me via MySpace messages when we were just starting high school. At the time I knew that I also was queer but did not have the courage to ever share that out. I saved your message and kept looking at it in admiration that someone like me at that young age could just come out and figure it out. While I never told you- you being out when we were so young was the coolest thing. 

I also want to say thank you for chatting with me a lot when I finished graduate school. We reconnected in 2015 after years of not talking and you were quick to invite me out and introduce me to your friends as I shared I really didn't have much of a queer group I could be with in Chicago. More importantly you invited me out to go out and enjoy the gay scene in the city. At a time when I had just finished coming out to everyone in my immediate family, you provided me with a queer connection as I figured out my situation. You were a person whom I knew then that if things didn't go well with family I could go to you for love.

While it's been just over a year since your passing...it's obvious from your Facebook wall that you are loved, missed, and often remembered. You are a beautiful example of a young, strong, and unapologetic latino queer person.

In one of our last conversations we had prior to your passing- you shared with me that it made you happy to see me working with students. I hope you know I'm trying to teach through example. I am trying to be a fairy godmother to young queer people like us. I want them to know they are loved, that they belong, and that there is nothing wrong in being different. I want them to feel all of the love that perhaps we could have felt sooner, I want them to feel the love they should have felt and known from day 1.

Luis, your presence always drops in and will forever drop in. You were the first queer person I knew and will always be of the original beacons of hope for me when I was a teenager. My love to you, to your family, to your mother, and to all who miss your presence in this world. 

As I said when you passed, I hope you found the prettiest unicorn in heaven to ride on top of all of the clouds! You were a trailblazer for me. You taught me how to love myself as an adult by loving and respecting yourself as a teenager. Thank you!

Luis and I...this was 7th grade.