Sustaining Hope

Again as we near the end of Pride month I would be a fool to not give some love to the individuals who I met as a student who allowed me in and really looked after me.
I’ll start in the order that I met them…

Arthur Sunleaf
At Loras, first year students are required to take a first year seminar (known as MOI for my fellow Duhawks). Each seminar at the time was co-taught by a faculty member, a staff member, and a student leader. I was ever so lucky that Art was the staff member in my particular section. He was one of the first staff members I met and developed a relationship with. He was hilarious, warm, and incredibly approachable for me. While I never came out to him while a student at Loras (I didn’t come out to anyone when I was a student), I have no doubts he knew. He would be one of the individuals I knew I could always count on. I also knew at the time that being gay wouldn’t be an issue as he was passively always communicating a strong love and openness to students. Several years later after I finished my graduate degree and working professionally I was invited to an interview at Loras for my current position and in it I wrapped up the day with Art as he is the Vice President for Student Development and would ultimately be my supervisor if I was offered the position. I asked him and in case he didn’t know before, if I would have any issues working at Loras being an openly gay man. He said he didn’t think there’d be and encouraged me to speak to others who were open as employees. I didn’t bother to talk to anyone who was queer and at Loras. I felt the response was honest then, and I’m happy to share that it’s been the case since assuming the role.
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While I never was out to him as student, the ability to have a message, that students who are queer, LGBTQIA+, or are still figuring themselves out have a space and a voice at Loras has been one of the most rewarding and empowering aspects of my role. While I never was out as a student, to see students out and be their most authentic and confident selves is the joy of my career and I am grateful that under Art’s guidance I’ve been empowered to do just that. 

Closeted me was onto something with this post on Art's Facebook page! :)

Molly Burrows Schumacher
You probably were the one who almost…just almost got me to say that I was gay while a student at Loras. I know for a fact you knew me better from the start. You were gentle yet firm in how you watched over me. Since I’ve know you you’ve always been someone who has helped me discern many things (whether it be the latest love/lust experience I have haha, family pieces, dreams, etc.). I am thankful you’ve allowed me to share my thoughts with you and guided me as best you could. I credit your empathy that allowed me to get a footing at Loras that would eventually inspire me to pursue a career in higher education.
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As I mentioned before, you were the one who almost got me to come out as a student. I vividly remember sitting in Jina’s office during my senior year a particular afternoon after sharing with you a dream I had the night before. You were firm and loving, but you said to me, “Is there something you’re struggling with about yourself that you want to share with us?” I’m sure that regardless of my response to your question, my face and body language gave it away. From that moment I thought to myself, “shit, Molly knows”. It wasn’t a “shit, I don’t trust Molly” it was a “shit, I’m not ready nor do I know what this means for me yet” thought. Moving into graduate school and now in my current role, you’ve been amazing, an avid supporter and advocate for those often forgotten or misunderstood. I am grateful that you hired me as an RA my sophomore year as I’m not sure what else I’d be doing today as a career. 

The amazing Molly, myself, and Alicia at one of many Christmas Parties we had as resident advisors and the professional team!

Alicia Lynch
The ever beautiful Alicia Lynch. You prepared me for life!!! I still remember the first time we met my junior year in Binz Hall. We did ice-breakers outside of Binz with the staff and I immediately felt comfortable and safe with you. You were the Latina role-model I needed at the time. You were so real, so transparent and so good to me. You helped me with everything, writing my first somewhat decent resume, doing mock interviews with me, you and Luke hooked me up with one of my favorite experiences in my life by connecting me to individuals that eventually allowed me to be in D.C., you were always there for me.
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You also showed up for me so many times after I finished at Loras. When I came out to my father in 2015, you were the first person I called and you listened to me ugly cry over the phone. You told me to calm down, you told me that things would be ok and repeatedly told me how much I was loved for who I was. As I write this, I have tears in my eyes thinking back to how you showed up for me then. I am so grateful to have met you and have you in my life. 

I want to say this was Fall training leading into my senior year? Alicia, beautiful as always! :)

Kim Walsh
The marvelous Kim Walsh. I think I was the lucky student who happened to be in student life when you approached me about working for you my senior year with OrgSync on campus. I happily applied, interviewed, and I got the gig as your student worker my senior year. While I always knew who you were, it wasn’t until my senior year that I got to know and get close to you. Similar to everyone else I’ve mentioned, you always made me feel comfortable and at home. Whether it was active or passively, I knew you were accepting and loving of all students. It wasn’t a question of whether or not you communicated that you were LGBT friendly, it was on me and my readiness to understand and come out as who I authentically was.

It was also in Spring 2013 when I shared with you that I wanted to go into higher education and you helped lead the way with the rest of the group in preparing me for OPE and in finding the right program. I still remember Alicia giving me crap on a car ride back to Loras because I told you before I told her haha.
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You have been an ear and a shoulder for me while in my role at Loras. You’ve seen me cry when I felt helpless and ineffective, you’ve affirmed me and the direction I wanted to take the office, and have been a vocal supporter among colleagues of the need for diversity and inclusion…one that is inclusive of gender and sexual diversity. Thank you for always hearing out my work thoughts but also being someone I can tell anyone to regardless the weekend’s mischiefs. Love you!!

DM with the anazing Kim and fellow SA Pro Megan!

Tori Svoboda
Tori, my list of shout-outs would not be complete without talking about how much of a rock you were for me during graduate school. You literally taught me so much about listening, affirming, and showing up for people. You did it for me throughout my graduate career but also in my personal life then. I remember how happy you were for me when I told you I was beginning to come out to people. I remember how affirming you were in the fear and anxiety in a way that allowed me to clear my mind and begin to tell my story as I wanted it to be told.
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So much of what I do today and how I work with students is based off how you worked with me, and I am grateful. I will of course always remember the day you and I had lunch at Mainstreeters in April and I told you of my intention to come out to my dad. As soon as I was done telling you, my phone began to ring and it was my dad calling from Mexico. You said to me, “Sergio, I’m not a believer of things, but if there’s ever been a sign, that’s a sign that you should do it.” I finished my meal and would leave to do just that, come out to my dad. Once everything was over and I had done it you sent me a message that evening that I will forever remember. I was a mess and you came through then and always. You were my fairy godmother I needed during those years and I’ll never for that. 

Tori!! I love this picture of us!! Master's hooding ceremony! :)

Julie Phelps
Jules!!! What can I say other than you like others always showed up and gave me so much motherly care during my time at UWRF. You were real, you never sugar coated pieces and gave guidance that made sense. I can’t imagine how annoying I was. You always opened your home to me and the rest of the gang and always provided an ear. You also always entertained my stupid crushes and encouraged my obsession with celebrities like Zac Efron, Channing Tatum and my obsession with romance movies. :)

Jules, you also were absolutely amazing that same night I came out to my dad. I, being the well-rounded and mature human being that I was, quickly decided to address the entirety of my emotions by going to the bar. What did you do?...you showed up at Mainstreeters to spend time with me. I always will remember the joy others and I had when we saw you as you had never (at least I don’t think so) been out at the bars with us. To see you show up and give me a hug affirmed to me again that I was surrounded by amazing people like yourself. I am grateful, better, and more me because of you. Thank you!!

First time doing this with the ever adventurous and outdoorsy Jules! :)

All of these folks of course inform my work in higher ed. In many ways, my hope is that I’m able to draw from each of your practices to provide students a glimpse of what helped me and sustained my hope when I was coming out. I am grateful that you all in your own way looked out after me and honestly still do today. You were my champions as a student that I hope to become for the students I work with today.