J.Q, J. Quizzle, J. Fashon...

All of us have our "ride and die" friend in our lives. That friend that can be ever so disturbing and offensive one minute, and loving and mindful the next. My "ride and die" is my high school friend whom I have referred to with many different names over the years. J.Q., J.Quizzle, J.Fashon...are just some of the more G rated names I use when talking about him...at the end of the day though I'll use the name his mother affectionately calls him...marrana Jose! :) 

Jose and I go back to 8th grade actually. We met at our 8th grade end of the year trip at Six Flag's Great America in Gurnee! We would enter high school knowing each other but believe it or not were quite hostile towards one another in the earlier moments of our friendship (though some could argue we are much more hostile to one another now because of the things we say of and to each other...). While Jose was out in high school, I credit my own internalized homophobia for it's role in preventing me from allowing myself to get closer to him right away. It was perhaps a fear of being labled as gay before I was ready that drove me to be less than welcoming to him.

Nonetheless Jose is my closest friend. He might know this and if he doesn't I'll likely regret putting these next few thoughts in writing...but he has been a role model in living life as it should be lived...with no regrets...and no regards to what others might feel about us. Jose has always been someone whom I could literally say anything to...anything to. It could be remarks from the failed hook up of the night before...the complete disdain I have for "systems of oppression" as he likes to mock me for, or my latest rationale behind why Lady Gaga is better than Britney Spears (there I said it, SUE ME) he has always been there to pick up the call to listen...but also hang up the call when he needed to bring me back to Earth. 

This kween is also my person when it comes to exploring Boystown in any given night we are both in Chicago. There is no doubt I wouldn't know any of the queer places we frequent if it weren't for him. I am grateful to have been introduced to spaces where I can escape the messed up world we live in and be present with other queer folks like us who find community and bonding in simply knowing we can all exist without fear of violence being enacted upon us. 

Jose- thank you for always shooting the shit with me. For being the only person I know who can hang until bar close at 5am and still have an apetitie for shenanigans once we're kicked out. Thank you for providing me an ear as I literally went through my erratic moods as I came out to you, friends, and family. To your mother for always giving me so much love when I needed it. To you for being a fierce queen who has taught me the value in being vulnerable with others. 

Below you'll find some of MY favorite videos of the times we've had together. A snapshot of the wild lives we can sometimes lead. :) 

I should note...that before any of you get any ideas...we aren't dating, we won't date, and any suggestion from our friends that we will end up together is tragic and really a tired idea that we've both constantly shot down throughout the years. Two gay people or two gay friends who get along does not equal a soon to be married couple. This is not something unique to us but is a problematic and annoying experience where gay folks are automatically pegged to be secret or soon to be lovers just because of the relationship they have. If you don't have friends that allow you to be you without this view that suggests something romantic or sexual must be happening is a shame...and quite frankly you need better friends. If you really want to know why we wouldn't work by all means ask, I'll let you know but you'll probably say that you didn't need to know those details. :) 

Look at her with her casual low key Sunday brunch aesthetic.

She probably won't be happy I posted this candid picture of her....:) Love You!!! :)