Jennifer Hudson- "I still Love you"

Chicago singer Jennifer Hudson came through for the LGBTQIA+/Queer community in 2015 with this music video. It was released shortly before same-sex marriage was legalized in the U.S. by the Supreme Court. While the lyrical content is more oriented as a love song, the video content is what makes this stand out to me. 

Context for those who don't know- the summer of 2015 was a suprisingly lonely summer for me despite having finished graduate school, despite having been hired for my first full time professional job in a dream state, and despite being back living with my siblings after having come out. I didn't realize, nor did I fully understand the impact of not having open communication with my father. After coming out to him in Spring 2015 we didn't talk. He didn't attend my master's graduation. I didn't reach out. More on that will come at a later post...so stay tuned. This video reminds me a lot of that summer because I listened to it on repeat in the basement fixated on what I hope will be my future at some point.

In the video you have a gay couple in the hours leading to thier wedding reception. You have one of the men call and leave a voicemail for thier father following up on the wedding invitation...he ends the call with "...despite everything...I still love you." The video breaks into J-Hud doing her part in singing while the men prepare for the wedding date. All while this is going on, the father picks up the wedding invitation he stored away in a dresser. 

Moving forward you have moments where there is a desire to have a relationship, when the Black father arrives to give his son a hug you see a desire from his partner of wanting a relatioship like that with his own father. Shortly the missing father arrives in his old pick up truck which might speak to the generational difference in views on sexuality as to why there was a strained relationship between himself and his son. You see the father nervously prepare himself to leave his truck and enter the reception, looking confused and perhaps overwhelmed. Once at the reception you see the father and son hug and embrace one another thus helping start the healing thier relationship. I should note that in the land of music videos...healing relationships happens in a matter of minutes and not weeks, months, and years like in the real world. :)  

You ultimately end the video with more queer imagery. It took me a year to realize that Manila Luzon (one of many Rupaul Drag Race drag queens who would go on to reach a level of gay celebrity status) was in the video dancing with J-Hud. You also see Shaun Ross, a pansexual model with albinism who also is featured in a multitude of music videos and modeling agencies. You see non-conforming and queer people in attendance. One aspect I don't want to look past is that this was also an interracial marraige! This is HUGE considering how racist the gay community is...especially when gay men feel it's ok to post or say that they don't want to talk to black or brown gay men on dating sites or on grindr (I refuse to say grindr is a dating site). Their racism is hidden behind the language of "preference" and not the fact that they refuse to accept thier standard for beautiy is socialized by the heavily white eurocentric standards imposed on us by society....haha I'm not bitter at all. 

Anywho- I've blabbed a lot on this video...if you're someone who is working through a relationship with a family member, close friend, or like this video, a father- know that things can get better. At the same time...queer people have the ability to choose a new family, a new friend, a new community that loves you for being you. Much love to the world!